Friendship. Is it?

It’s been a while I didn’t post anything for this blog. Been too busy with my life. I even dragged to love someone. I don’t even know whether I’m in love or not.

Told to be truth, this few semester, makes my life in college much better compare to the previous sems. Oh yeah, by the way, this entry is dedicated for somebody who is very special for me, even though she mights think otherwise. Indeed we are a close friend, we have been together for a year already (in a serious friendship, if that matters to you). Before this, we’re not even close nor talked with each other.

We’ve been a classmate for two semesters before this, and the first semester whilst we’re in Foundation. Pretty sad, we’re not even close enough at that moment. And at that time, she already have a partner (boyfriend FYI).  So, I don’t give anything much about her since she’s not really my type at that moment.

Sooner, when we’re in HND, it all began to change. We’ve been close enough and people with short minded would thought that we’re a couple. — Pretty sad, it is not. Even though we like each other, it’s not working for us to be together. We always spent our time chatting, talking, bitching, and the likes to shares our likes. It’s like a sorority girls being together, except we’re not.

Recently, something happened, and it was like, we were sharing the same destiny. We both went down. Totally down. I almost lost my self-esteem and tried to run away from this situation. On the other hand, she still able to maintain her coolness (not really cool until few moments ago. LOL).

She was crying…. I was stumbled and as usual, I have no idea to comfort her.. I really don’t want her to cry. With all my might, I couldn’t. It’s like asking for a merit to pass from the hell. I already told my feeling towards her. Awfully it won’t be possible for us to be like that. We love our current relationship. Sad enough. I’m still have a feeling towards her. But it’s impossible. It’s like a beauty and the beast tale story, but it isn’t.We have our own path to living on. She already chose her soulmate. I had to respect her. I don’t know, but my feeling is still complicated. But I’d managed to control it until now. Hopefully forever. =(

– This song is dedicated to you. The one who I mentioned in this entry. This song is about “Sea of Memory”. It reflects our memory when we look back. Somehow we know that stay like this is much better than ruining it. =)

Thanks for everything darling. Love you so much. Sincerely.

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